whipped cream...HAIR CREAM?!?!

While the Japanese may have brought us such unforgettable Engrish phrases as "boiling fish with colorectal," I think we need to give more credit to our creative native speakers. When the owners of the "The Hairport" needed a name for their salon, did they have to call up some Asian dude? NO. Or what about the East Texas owners of "Hair by Jesus?" They only needed to look to their Lord and Savior when christening their mullet factory. Surely no other country will ever take away our place at the top of the cheesy-hair-salon-name mountain.

However, the Arabs would like to try. For instance, consider the "Hair Saloon" in Amman, Jordan. Since Muslims aren't really down with the drinking, I can only assume that Os were on sale at the letter factory.

Hair salons aren't alone, though. Perhaps the most unfortunately named liquor store I've come across is Hobby Liquor. Presumably named for its proximity to Hobby Airport, this liquor store is not for the amateur drinker. No Boone's Farm for you, just straight up Night Train.

Today as I was driving I SWEAR I passed an establishment called "Faceload." I was in a respectable part of town, so I don't really know what to make of this. Maybe I misread it, or I just had porn on the mind, or something (although I was never into THAT type of porn...but that's for another day). Anyway, I figured that the only thing "Faceload" could be, if that is in fact what it was called, is a salon or something, and that's what made me think of all the awful hair salon names I've ever encountered.